How diancie and the cocoon of destruction should have ended
by damsainx
Summary: Warning: this story will be more understandable if you have already watched the movie. BTW, all reviews will be appreciated: )


**Hello, this is my second parody fanfic and I know it will certainly get you laughing a lot. Well without any more time wasting let's get into the story, shall we?**

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><p>"Diancie! Stop this shit already!" Merrik said as he and the others chased her along with Knight and Joe. "No way! I'm a total dumbass that wants to play hide and seek" She replied as she ran around until she bumped into a tall guy. "Did somebody say hide and see?" He said as he prepared to catch her.<p>

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><p>[FFWD]<p>

"The heart diamond needs to be remade and only you can make a new one" Dace said facing Diancie. "Oki dokie!" She said cheekily. "A simple yes will suffice you idiot!" He said angrily. "Ok, yes" She said sounding like a dope.

She then concentrated her power to make a new heart diamond but the attack failed. "Oh drats! I failed again. That makes it a total of 500,000 failures" Diancie said sadly. "Well how won't you fail when all you do in this kingdom is play around every fucking day!" Merrick scolded.

"(Sigh) I guess this means that you must find Xerneas and obtain her fairy aura" Dace said. "Who's Xerneas" Diancie asked curiously. "Well you see, some years ago a major catastrophe occurred in the forest…."

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><p>[FLASHBACK]<p>

"Everyone we're all gonna die!" A zigzagoon said running in fear. "Whoever drank my mountain dew shall die!" Yveltal said as he flew about killing everything on sight. "Who among you drank his mountain dew?!" Dace asked the two Zigzagoons beside him.

But then Yveltal's death wave reached them and they were all hit half to death. "Oh no, this is it for me. Goodbye world oh and Zigzagoon?" He asked. "Yeah?" The Zigzagoon replied barely moving. "See you in hell!" Dace said furiously after he saw the idiot with a mountain dew bottle.

And all of a sudden a wild Xerneas appeared and brought them back to life thus saving them. "Thank you very much Xerneas" Dace said thanking Xerneas in gratitude.

Xerneas then turned around with a pissed off look and said "Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to come all the way here just to save your sorry asses?!"

Dace sweat dropped and said "Uhhhh no?". "Oh what the heck" Xerneas said looking away. Yveltal then spotted Xerneas from a distance "Oh dammit! Not this shit again" He said furiously.

"That's right Yveltal. Now go, get the fuck out of here before I moon blast you away" Xerneas said noticing him.

"You know what? I'm just gonna go take a thousand year nap as a cocoon but should anyone disturb my sleep you'll have to answer for it" He then went into a pit and became a cocoon and slept.

"Phew what a relief, now the whole world can finally be safe" Dace said with a sigh of relief. "Listen up you old chunk of rock, I hereby declare that this forest remains forbidden to hear, Understood!" Xerneas said putting on of her hooves on Dace's chest.

"Okay understood, no one will ever come here again" He said nodding his head quickly. "Now if you don't mind, I'm going ice skiing" Xerneas said before running off.

[FLASBACK END]

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><p>Everyone looked at dace in shock. "What? Wasn't it a good story? Well Diancie go and find Xerneas" He said. "Okay then, bye bye!" She said before she left on her quest to find Xerneas.<p>

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><p>[FFWD]<p>

Ash was in a battle against a trainer with a mega absol. Ash sent out Pikachu. Pikachu fainted, end of battle. "Oh wow! Mega evolution is wonderful!" He said with gleaming eyes. "Rather than saying that shouldn't you be taking your pokemons to a pokemon center?" The woman asked.

"Nah, I'm sure they'll be fine" Ash said bringing out his pokedex to check on absol. She then turned to look at his beaten up pokemons, Hawlucha had his wings tattered, Froakie lost a leg and Pikachu had his neck snapped. "(Wow, he's a total dumbass") she thought to herself.

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><p>[FFWD]<p>

Millis came back to report to her father Argon. "I see… so both Riot and Marilyn are in the way huh? No wait is that Justin Bieber about to sing?! Quick Millis turn off the speakers before it's too la..."

Ash and Friends heard an explosion from the sky. "What the hell was that?!" Serena asked worriedly. "Who knows" Clemont said taking a bite out of his sandwich.

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><p>[FFWD]<p>

Ash and friends were accompanying Diancie when all of a sudden a wild Xerneas appeared. "Hey I thought I told you to never come to this forest again!" She said furiously glaring at Dace.

"Yes you did but Diancie really needs your help right now" He pleaded. "I am well aware of that. Bitch's been following for the past five months" Xerneas said.

"So will you give me some of your fairy aura?" Diancie asked making a puppy dog face. "Oh you look so adorable, here let me share some of my fairy aura with you" Xerneas said in a really kind tone.

"Hey she copied that trick from puss in boots in Shrek!" Ash complained. "So?" Xerneas said raising an eye brow.

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><p>[FFWD]<p>

"Hey bring Diancie back here she's mine!" Argus steel said running after ninja riot. Riot escaped into some kind of pit and landed on a water puddle hitting Yveltal on the head. Marilyn then came and snatched Diancie from him.

After that Team rocket came and snatched Diancie followed by Argus and his daughter Millis and before they knew it a game of rugby began in the pit. While they were busy passing Diancie around they continuously stepped on Yveltal.

"Enough! I am gonna kill all you bitches now!" Yveltal said as he awakened from his sleep. Everyone gasped and said "Who are you?!"

"When you ask 'who are you', my answer will be the world's compassion….." "Hey that's our line!" Jesse and James retorted. "Beat it fools! Now where was I?" He said putting his claw on his chin to think.

"You were about to kill all us bitches!" Ash replied excitedly. "You idiot!" They all said angrily at Ash excluding Yveltal.

"Oh right, thanks for reminding me kid" He said giving Ash a thumbs up. "I'm glad I could help!" He said waving at Yveltal. "You do realize that you just doomed us all right?" Diancie said to Ash with a really annoyed face.

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><p>[FFWD]<p>

"Diancie watch out!" Merrick said before he and the other two carbinks pushed her out of the way from an attack. They then turned into stone. "Nooo what have I done! I never should've been a princess" Diancie said as she sobbed.

"Yeah, I couldn't agree more" Ash said sarcastically with a smirk. "Lemme call Xerneas on the phone" Dace said as he began dialing Xerneas' phone number.

"Wait, you mean to tell me that you had Xerneas' phone number but had me going around this world looking for her rather than just calling her to come meet me?!" Diancie asked furiously. "Shhh I'm on the phone" He whispered back to her.

"Hello Xerneas here" Xerneas said picking up her phone while reading a book in the library. "Sorry to disturb you right now but…..YVELTAL IS BACK AND HE'S KILLING EVERYBODY!" Dace said dropping the phone.

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><p>[FFWD]<p>

"Pikachu please don't die come back don't die on me!" Ash cried as he saw his Pikachu turn into stone. "Wow, that did not go as expected" Yveltal said landing beside Ash. "Mhm this was probably not in the movie script" Xerneas said standing beside Ash as well.

"Um you know what? Why don't you do something about this while I go to Kfc, haven't had a meal for a thousand years and now I'm exceedingly hungry" Yveltal said before his stomach growled. "Yeah go fuck- I mean go serve yourself" Xerneas said.

Yveltal then flew off into the horizon. Xerneas then brought Pikachu back to life and so not through true love kiss. She then settled herself and started talking to Diancie telepathically.

"Well I guess it's my turn to take a nap and I swear if anyone wakes me up, that person will have to start figuring out how to live an immortal life, am I clear?!" Xerneas said as she turned into a tree.

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><p>[FFWD]<p>

"Thank you for helping me out friends. Now without any further ado let me create a new heart diamond!" Diancie said excitedly as she began to mega evolve.

A zoroark that happened to be watching the movie paused the video and said "Diancie can mega evolve and I can't? "He immediately got up, grabbed his suit and briefcase and went into reality.

[POKEMON COMPANY JAPAN]

The top dogs in the pokemon company were discussing about the next gen pokemon games when a wild zoroark appeared through the door suddenly.

"I demand an immediate explanation for this!" He demanded. "An explanation for what?" One of the executives asked the pokemon.

"Tell me how it makes sense that a gen 6 pokemon has a mega evolution and none of us gen 5 pokemons have one?" He said angrily. "Actually Audino now has a mega evolution too" Ken segumuri said walking into the room.

"Audino, that useless pokemon that fails competitively and is not worth the catch?" Zoroark asked with his eyes twitching. "Yeah" Ken replied proudly.

"Y u no make Mega evolution for me or Haxorus or even Crygonal I mean of all the badass pokemons in gen 5 you decided to make a mega evolution for Audino?!" Zoroark retorted. "Well if you think my job is easy then why don't you become the new pokemon designer for this company!" Ken said angrily before quitting his job.

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><p>[FIVE MONTHS LATER]<p>

"Oh wow will you look at that, every pokemon now has a Mega evolution" A boy said playing pokemon Z on his 3ds. "I wonder why they didn't do this sooner"

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><p><strong>THE END<strong>

**SPECIAL THANKS TO WHOEVER REVIEWS ON THIS STORY**

**MADE IN COORPORATION WITH MICROSOFT**

**EDITED AND MODIFIED BY MICROSOFT SPELL CHECK**

**POKEMON DOES NOT BELONG TO ME**


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